Marriage: challenges men face and how to address them

What do men typically expect from relationships? What do they tend to struggle with? Clinical psychologist Thabang Tlaka considers why men are sensitive to language, how their priorities differ from those of women, and issues including financial pressures, emotional availability, self-expression, and congruence. He offers tools for strengthening romantic relationships and ways to promote peace in the home.

If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Thabang and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.

In episode 241 of the weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful, clinical psychologist, author, speaker, creative and media personality Thabang Tlaka considers

  • whether men and women marry for different reasons: men’s typical focus on sex, domestic support, etc. while women prioritise emotional intimacy, communication, security, etc.  

  • what motivates men to get married

  • why men are sensitive to language

  • misconceptions which may shape men’s expectations of marriage

  • psychological challenges men experience, including “in-expression”

  • relationship challenges: self-reflection, theory of mind, managing conflict, and being present

  • tools that can help shape better romantic relationships

  • examples of men who have succeeded in strengthening their relationships

  • when a man or a couple needs professional help.


In this episode, Thabang mentions the work of John and Julie Gottman of The Gottman Institute, including on the “four horsemen of the apocalypse”: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling; His Needs, Her Needs: Making Romantic Love Last written by Willard F. Harley; and the author Esther Perel.

Scroll down for more information on Thabang.


The free podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Casts, Player FM and Iono.fm – I hope you’ll subscribe!

Also listen to relationship coach Bryan Reeves’ profound understanding of what men and women deeply yearn for in romantic relationships.

More about Thabang

Thabang Tlaka is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, creative and media personality from Pretoria. He is the author of several books, including The Taxi Philosopher, Corrupting Virgins, Selfie of the Soul, Love on the Table, The Temptation of Mr Married, and Focus & Flourish. Thabang has developed training programs for couples (The Love Adventure), teenagers (Empires of the Mind), parents (The Flight Plan) and a personal development programme for young professionals (Align – how to understand yourself, others and plan for the life that you desire). He has also written and staged plays, and is a Mandela Rhodes Scholar and a Brightest Young Mind Delegate.

Thabang’s books are available on www.thabangtlaka.co.za, Takealot, and at Exclusive Books.

Website: www.thabangtlaka.co.za

Tel: 012 346 3480, Cell: 083 623 3441

Email: thabang@ttlaka.co.za

Facebook: Thabang Tlaka Clinical Psychologist

Instagram: thabangtlaka

Podcast: Azania in Therapy on YouTube

TikTok: thabang_tlaka

www.youtube.com/@tlakamedia2636


Also listen to psychologist Dr Ingrid Artus on why affairs happen and how a couple can be helped to restore broken trust.


Feel free to click on Home and browse this website for articles and podcasts on more fulfilling love relationships, easier parenting, and upping your emotional well-being. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to get a gentle nudge when new content is alive!

Original music by Mart-Marie Snyman, feat. James Robb and Matinino

Thumbnail image: Pexels

Photograph of Thabang Tlaka: supplied

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