Growing older: how to flourish

Would you like to become a shining example of 80 being the new 60? This is not dependent on your genes. Dr. Christiane Northrup urges us to let go of ageism and the expectation of physical decline by rewiring our brains and changing our lifestyle. The earlier we start, the better!  

Women renowned for their beauty seldom reveal their age. They sidestep curious questions with sharp-witted answers and preserve the mystery of agelessness.

We tend to link certain expectations to certain ages. What crosses your mind when you are told that someone is 70 or 85 years old? Do you use expressions like "on the shady side of 50" or associate growing older with decline?

We’ve kissed numerous outdated perceptions regarding issues such as race and gender goodbye. Now it’s time to let go of ageism. “We baby boomers have changed every phase of life which we’ve gone through, and ageing is no exception," says dr. Christiane Northrup. If you are familiar with this bestselling author, speaker, physician, former surgeon and keen proponent of a holistic approach, you’ll know that she’s full of energy and life (and loves to dance the Argentine Tango.) She is no spring chicken, but if anyone wants to know how old she is, she says something like: "My biological age is 35 and my mental age 300!"

In her book Goddesses Never Age (Hay House, 2015) Dr. Northrup tackles the perception that “we’re programmed to dread an inevitable decline: in our health, our looks, our sexual relationships, even the pleasure we take in living life.” She goes on to show that we can shift our perceptions and experience of growing older, and how to do so. It goes without saying that this takes some doing!

Amongst other things, it requires awareness of negative beliefs, for instance the belief that others’ needs should always be put before my own. Surely, focusing on oneself is selfish?

“The cause of selfishness is too little self-love, not too much. A satisfied, fulfilled woman is generous and has a positive effect on all around her.”

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Where to start

“By developing a clear picture of an ‘age-free’ you, you’ll start seeing more of her until, one day, you’ll look in the mirror and see a brand-new woman smiling back at you.

“Our ‘wonder weapon’ is our ability to re-wire our brains. We do not need to suffer the wear and tear one would expect from a machine. The plasticity of our brains enables the constant creation of new connections between our thoughts, activities and experiences. The way we think and act determines the quality of these connections.”

Luister na ‘n Afrikaanse vrou wat vol lewenslus leef - ten spyte van uitdagings soos die verlies van ‘n lewensmaat en ‘n pynlike siektetoestand.

Thoughts with adequate amplitude can alter neural connections and transform our bodies and lives. A good starting point involves focusing on the joys of getting older rather than the fears, and replacing perfectionism, self-criticism and self-neglect with self-love and nourishment.

You can improve your health

"The general assumption is that older people struggle with poor health. We lose sight of the many young people who experience a decline in muscle mass, unstable blood sugar levels, loss of balance and other forms of physical deterioration - and of the 70 year olds who are the picture of health.

“The most important indicators of your health are your thoughts, emotional well-being, cultural programming and spiritual outlook. Your deep-seated convictions turn into your cells, tissue and organs. When things go wrong, first investigate your thinking patterns. Do you view good health as a gift that could disappear in the blink of an eye? Are you constantly monitoring your body for weaknesses or collapse? In the Western tradition, medical professionals have been focusing their attention on everything that could go wrong. This could amplify fears and trigger self-fulfilling prophecies. 

"Concentrate on getting your natural, harmonious relationship with your body back. A setback is a wake-up call indicating that you should take better care of your body.

“Lifestyle and other changes offer your body the chance to heal and balance itself. Old cells are constantly being replaced by new ones; our bodies renew themselves. You can ensure that new cells are full of vitality by making sensible lifestyle choices regarding food, exercise and stress management. “Shedding harmful habits is not easy, but if you do so with determination you’d find it hard to believe how good you can feel – for years to come!

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"The physiological changes that we with link to ageing, from wrinkles to minor aches and pains, are caused by cellular degeneration. The accumulation of toxins contributes to this. Another contributing factor is connective tissue that becomes more dense due to scarring - the result of physical, emotional and mental stress.

"If you are doing too much sitting and lying around, you’re bound to lose muscle strength and balance, which could result in accelerating the ageing process. Research has shown that people over 50 who do moderate exercise only one hour a week are seven times less likely to develop a chronic disease.

“It’s a great pity that many of us developed an aversion to the way physical exercise was offered at school. Do you recall that first time you did a somersault, or how much you enjoyed rope skipping games with your friends? You revelled in movement and had more than enough energy.

“Take the trouble to find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Whether it’s dancing or hiking – whatever gets you moving without resistance is what you need. If you spend long hours at a desk, try to work on an exercise ball and get up to stretch every 15 minutes. See if you can do this 32 times a day.

“When we resist gravity by walking or moving, the fluids in our bodies carry toxins to our organs with greater ease. Apart from assimilating toxins from the environment, our bodies also manufacture them. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are designed to help us fight or flee when our lives are in danger. When they are, however, constantly released due to prolonged stress, it can lead to cellular inflammation - the primary cause of chronic, degenerative conditions such as cancer.

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“Oxidative stress is another problem. This points to the damage caused by free radicals when there are too few antioxidants in your body.

“When you indulge in foods which contain sugar to help you alleviate anxiety, anger, sadness, pain or unhappiness, inflammation and oxidative stress are aggravated. These foods exclude fresh fruit – you probably wouldn’t try assuaging your troubles by consuming a tray of blueberries! The temporary boost you get from sweets, baked goods or a glass of wine can damage the lining of your blood vessel and increase your risk for diabetes, arthritis and other diseases.

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"Excess fat around the stomach is not to due to time going by, but to sugar intake and the associated inflammation. It's a sign that you can give birth to a new you – one who experiences so much pleasure that she needn’t self-medicate with sugar and alcohol!

"Of course, a couple of sweet or alcoholic treats is not a matter of life or death. A ritual during which you savour a piece of good chocolate or a special glass of wine improves the quality of your life. Mindless overindulgence, however, is another matter entirely.”

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Consider your approach to food

“Instead of bringing pleasure, food may be experienced as a threat, a task or a necessity. Get rid of the food police and any guilt regarding what you eat. Rather concentrate on nourishing your body with fresh, delicious food. Eat slowly and sensually, as if you were dancing in the moonlight. Even better, enjoy your meals with people whose company you relish.

"Take care of yourself in a sustainable way. Don’t simply consume what is at hand; consciously choose that which, in the long run, will make you feel best.

“See that you eat food. If your grandmother wouldn’t have recognised it, or if it contains ingredients you cannot even pronounce, let it go. Food in its natural form, such as crisp, organic vegetables, satisfies body and soul.

"Fats are brain food. Your brain consists mainly of fat and will effectively run on fat unless sugar is available. Our usual sugary diet causes our brain to use glucose as fuel and then store the fat as well as the sugar we consume in the form of fat. This worked well in prehistoric times when food was scarce, but today we should choose wisely. Personally, I avoid grains. I'm a proponent of natural plant fats like avocados, raw seeds and nuts, healthy dairy products, and free range meat and fish." 

Processing our emotions is essential

"Our culture does not encourage us to experience, listen to and process our emotions. We can suppress grief, resentment, shame and anger to such an extent that we are not even aware of it. Unfortunately, pent-up emotions release inflammatory chemicals into the blood stream that help along the ageing process. Addictions, avoiding certain people and things, and trying to please others at all costs can be signs that you are struggling to express difficult emotions.

"Underlying every 'negative' emotion there is an unfulfilled need, such as a lack of connection, intimacy, recognition, security or love. Emotions should be experienced in full, followed by the question: ‘What do I need now?’

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“If you are angry because you’re in a hurry and someone has just stolen your parking space, it may tell you that the time pressure is not good for you and needs to be addressed.
"For centuries, communities expressed emotions through tears, sound and movement. While they sang and danced, they experienced the full range of joy and sorrow and everything in between. Along with the tears, anger and sadness flowed out of their bodies."

Techniques to help us experience our emotions in a healthy way:

• Keep a journal.

• Play a song that evokes emotion, and dance as if nobody’s watching.

• Meditation, prayer and body work such as massage can let emotions surface for healing.

• After emotionally letting go, you can take a salt bath. This will allow you to relax and any toxins to release. At the same time, you can visualise a painful scene - such as when your father belittled you as a child - and imagine a more positive outcome.

  
  “Remember: at any age, your sparkling eyes can attract more attention than the lines on your face. Forget about the number of candles on your birthday cake. The best years are yet to come - I promise!”

  More information

  Dr. Christiane Northrup is a board-certified OB/GYN physician, former assistant clinical professor of OB/GYN at Maine Medical Center, multiple New York Times best-selling author and international speaker.

  More information at https://www.drnorthrup.com/ - click on Bookstore to find Goddesses never age, available as an ebook as well as an audio download.
  
  This article initially appeared in Afrikaans in rooi rose magazine.
  

  Thumbnail: Pexels

  Other images: Unsplash, unless indicated otherwise. Models were used.