Feeling out of control: learned helplessness or hyper-independence?

Do you sometimes feel that - despite your best efforts - you have no control over what happens in your life? Or perhaps that the only person you can fully rely upon is yourself? Counselling psychologist Ronel Carver explains how loss of control may be expressed as learned helplessness or hyperindependence. She considers the causes of these survival reactions and their effects, e.g. apathy, procrastination and low mood, or burnout, avoiding vulnerability and chronic anxiety. Ronel describes BrainWorking Recursive Therapy as a cost-effective, brain-based technique that can provide relief - and hope.  

If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Ronel and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.

In ep 246 of the weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful, counselling psychologist Ronel Carver considers

  • experiencing a loss of control due to the lack of stability and predictability in our current environment

  • applying the family system to governments to explain many of us feel on edge

  • helplessness: a feeling of being unable to do anything to help yourself or others

  • how helplessness relates to the freeze response  

  • causes of learned helplessness, including repeated exposure to traumatic events

  • behavioural symptoms of learned helplessness, including fatigue, low mood, avoidance, procrastination and resignation

  • how BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy - a safe, cost-effective, brain-based treatment with standardised protocols - can help

  • hyperindependence: “It’s all up to me – I can’t depend on anyone else”

  • characteristics of hyper-independence, as seen - for instance - in some single parents

  • why being self-sufficient to the point of excluding support can result in burnout, social isolation, reluctance to show vulnerability, and physical ailments such as adrenal fatigue or digestive issues  

  • treating hyperindependence, including establishing what happened to cause it, working through difficult experiences, perhaps doing identity work

  • when to get professional help.

In this episode, Ronel mentions the psychologist and researcher Dr Martin Seligman and Terence Watts, the UK-based psychotherapist, researcher, author, educator and principal of the Essex Institute, who developed BWRT.

Scroll down to About for more information on Ronel and BWRT.

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Here Ronel explains that emotional dysregulation is a brain-related symptom in individuals with ADHD and how to address it with brain-based therapy

Listen to clinical psychologist Rafiq Lockhat’s introduction to what BWRT® is and what it can do.


Lees ook ‘n Afrikaanse artikel oor Brainworking® Recursive Therapy.

About Ronel

Ronel Carver is a counselling psychologist at WestPsych Psychologists in Roodepoort, Johannesburg. She works with children, teenagers, couples and families, doing therapy and assessment work across a broad range of problems. Ronel is passionate about working from a brain-based theoretical framework and uses BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy.
Website: https://www.westpsych.com/

Tel./Whatsapp number: 061 492 5714 - also for bookings

Facebook: Westpsych Psychologists

Email: appointment@westpsych.com

On BWRT:

Google “Youtube BWRT in 2” to watch a short animation on BWRT®
Find a BWRT® practitioner near you by visiting https://bwrtsa.co.za/ and clicking on “Find a practitioner” or going to https://www.bwrt-professionals.com/

More information at http://www.bwrt.org/ or Facebook: BrainWorking Recursive Therapy SA

Learn more about Terence Watts at terencewatts.com

The free podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Casts, Player FM and Iono.fm – I hope you’ll subscribe!

‍ ‍

Read how Terence Watts’ surprising background prepared him for “discovering” BWRT® and of the many things close to his heart. With personal photographs.

If you’re a wellness expert looking to expand your authority and reach, you’re invited to visit https://www.mariettesnyman.co.za/services or send an email to mariette@mariettesnyman.co.za

Original music by Mart-Marie Snyman

Thumbnail image: Pexels. Model used

Photograph of Ronel Carver: supplied


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