🎧Retirement: identity, purpose, connection and staying relevant

Retirement may signal the end of your career, but not of “you.” Coaching psychologist Lizanne de Jong discusses pain points, including a loss of status, usefulness, structure, and well-being. She explores the 4 retirement personalities, the phases and domains of retirement, and how transitioning to retirement may differ for men and women. Discover how the Retirement Wheel and journalling can help you purposefully negotiate this demanding transition.

If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Lizanne and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.

In ep 244 of the weekly podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful, industrial and organisational psychologist Lizanne de Jong touches on:

• the different stages of a career: exploration, establishment, maintenance, and disengagement

• challenges South Africans face in terms of retirement age versus life expectancy

• core domains of retirement

• how transitioning to retirement may differ for men and women

• a crucial question: What kind of life do I want to live now?

• phases of retirement: pre-retirement anticipation, honeymoon phase, disenchantment, rebuilding a new life structure, and stability

• whether you should become your grandchildren’s caretaker

• 4 retirement personalities and the risk involved in each area: the continuers, adventurers, relaxers, and searchers

• active and structured exploration into what you’d like to do

• the strongest predictor of happiness that emerged from the 80+ year Harvard study of adult development

• the connection between loneliness and health problems

• persistent sadness, irritability, regret, and future fear

• the 6 domains of the Retirement Wheel: identity, purpose, relationships, physical and mental-emotional health, financial security, and growth and learning(more information below.)

• purpose as a predictor of well-being and longevity

• the importance of adequate, high-quality sleep

• how to start journalling (prompts below).
  Scroll down for more information on Lizanne, creating your Retirement Wheel, and for Retirement Journalling Prompts.

The free podcast series Calm, Clear & Helpful is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Casts, Player FM and Iono.fm – I hope you’ll subscribe!

Luister ook na skrywer, spreker en spirituele begeleier Philip Liebenberg oor ouer word, identiteitsvorming, afhanklikheid en begeerlikheid.

‍Also read Dr Rina De Klerk-Weyers’ advice on how to broach the subject of death with your loved one, and what you yourself should have in place.

More about Lizanne

Lizanne de Jong is an industrial and organisational psychologist who does corporate work and runs a private practice. Based in Pretoria, Lizanne specialises in strategic alignment and operational support on individual and team level, organisational culture work, diversity, leadership and management development. She handles psychometric assessments, retrenchment counselling, climate surveys and organisational redesign. Lizanne is an Enneagram practitioner.

Email: lizanne@mweb.co.za

Tel. 082 877 7267 – Whatsapp Lizanne, and refer to this Calm, Clear & Helpful episode

Create your retirement wheel

Draw a circle with the following segments:

• Identity – clarity (Who am I beyond my career)

• Purpose

• Relationships (Health of)

• Physical +mental-emotional health

• Financial security

• Growth & Learning

Scoring Key:

0 = No idea

5 = Needs some work

10 = Taken care of

Retirement readiness check

Rate yourself on the following areas:

• Identity:

Do I have a clear sense of who I am beyond my career?

Think of the following: community contribution, mentor, consultant, creator.

Score: ____/10

• Purpose:

Do I have meaningful activities or contributions planned after retirement?

Think of the following: what gets me out of bed in the morning?

Score: ____/10

• Relationships:

Do I have strong relationships and social connections outside the workplace?

Think of the following: friends, family, other community groups.

Score: ____/10

• Health:

Am I actively maintaining my physical and mental health?

Think of the following: regular annual physical check-ups, learning new skills, exercise, games (such as woordle, sudoku etc).

Score: ____/10

• Financial security:

Do I feel financially prepared for retirement?

Think of the following: professional advice, budgets for retirement.

Score: ____/10

• Growth and Learning:

Do I have interests or activities that will continue to challenge and stimulate me?

Think of the following: hobbies, interests.

Score: ____/10

Reflection questions

After scoring, reflect on the following questions:

1.      Which area scored the highest?

This may be your strength going into retirement.

2.      Which area scored the lowest?

This may need attention before or after retirement.

3.      What one step can you take this year to strengthen that area

Retirement is not just about leaving work. It is about designing the next chapter of your life. When people invest in purpose, relationships, health and growth, retirement becomes not a period of decline, but a period of renewed meaning.

Feel free to click on Home and browse this website for articles and podcasts on more fulfilling love relationships, easier parenting, and upping your emotional well-being. Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to get a gentle nudge when new content is alive!

Post-retirement mastery: here’s how Dr Hans Rabe aced a piano exam with finger joint prostheses in his seventies.

🌿 Retirement Journalling Prompts

A guided inner transition from “who I was” to “who I am becoming”

1. Facing the Fears (Acknowledging Loss & Uncertainty)

These prompts surface underlying anxieties that are often avoided or rationalised:

• What am I most afraid of losing when I retire?

• What does “not working” mean to me emotionally?

• What worries me about how others will see me after retirement?

• What fears do I have about financial security? Be specific.

• What am I afraid I might feel once the structure of work disappears?

• What parts of my identity feel threatened right now?

• If I am completely honest, what am I avoiding thinking about?

👉 Deepening prompt:
“If my fear had a voice, what would it say to me?”

2. Identity Beyond Work (Who am I without my title?)

This is a core psychological shift — from role-identity to self-identity.

• Who am I beyond my job title?

• What roles have I played in life besides my career?

• When in my life did I feel most like “myself”? What was I doing?

• What qualities define me that have nothing to do with work?

• What do people value in me outside of my professional contributions?

• If I removed my career completely, how would I describe myself?

👉 Reframe exercise:
Write two identity statements:

• “I used to be…”

• “I am now becoming…”

3. Emotional Shifts & Transition Awareness

Normalising the emotional complexity of retirement:

• What emotions am I currently experiencing about retirement?

• What has surprised me emotionally about this transition?

• Where do I feel resistance in my body or mind?

• What am I grieving?

• What am I quietly excited about but hesitant to admit?

• How has my mood or energy shifted as retirement approaches?

👉 Pattern reflection:
“What emotions show up most often in my day right now?”

4. Rediscovering Forgotten Passions

Reconnecting to parts of the self that were suppressed by career demands:

• What did I love doing as a child or young adult?

• What hobbies or interests did I abandon due to work or family responsibilities?

• When last did I feel deeply engaged or energised by something non-work related?

• What activities make me lose track of time?

• What have I always said “I don’t have time for”?

• If time and money were no constraint, what would I explore?

5. Flow & Meaningful Engagement

Helping clients identify where they experience flow and intrinsic motivation:

• When do I feel most alive and engaged?

• What activities challenge me in a satisfying way?

• What kind of tasks give me energy rather than drain it?

• Where do I feel a sense of purpose, even outside work?

• What would a “perfect day” look like in retirement?

👉 Flow mapping exercise:
List 3 activities:

• That energise me

• That calm me

• That give me a sense of contribution

6. Visioning the Next Chapter (Future Self Narrative)

Encouraging intentional life design:

• Imagine your life 3–5 years into retirement. What does a typical day look like?

• Where do you live? What is your environment like?

• How do you spend your mornings, afternoons, and evenings?

• What role does structure vs freedom play in your life?

• What does “a good life” mean to you now?

Explore across domains:

Financial

• What does “enough” look like for me?

• How do I want to feel about money in this stage of life?

Social & Relationships

• Who do I want to spend more time with?

• What relationships need strengthening or healing?

Family

• What role do I want to play in my family now?

• How do I want to show up differently?

Learning & Growth

• What do I still want to learn or master?

• How do I keep my mind active and stimulated?

Lifestyle & Wellbeing

• What does taking care of my health look like now?

• What rhythms or routines support my wellbeing?

7. Gratitude & Appreciation

Shifting from scarcity and loss to richness and fulfilment:

• What am I grateful for in my career journey?

• What opportunities did my work life give me?

• Who impacted my life positively along the way?

• What strengths did I develop through my career?

• What am I grateful for in my life right now?

👉 Practice:
Write 5 things daily you appreciate about this stage of life.

8. Bucket List & Possibility Thinking

Expanding horizons and reintroducing possibility:

• What have I always wanted to do, but never did?

• What places would I like to visit or experience?

• What personal goals still feel unfinished?

• What would make this phase of life exciting?

• If I gave myself permission to dream freely, what would I add to my life?

👉 Categories:

• Adventure

• Learning

• Relationships

• Contribution

• Personal growth

9. Legacy & Meaning (Defining What You Leave Behind)

Moving toward generativity and purpose:

• What does “legacy” mean to me?

• What do I want to be remembered for?

• What values do I want to pass on to others?

• How have I made a difference in people’s lives?

• What impact do I still want to make?

• In what ways can I contribute (mentoring, volunteering, sharing knowledge)?

👉 Legacy statement exercise:
“Because I lived, others will remember me for…”

10. Designing a New Identity (Integration)

Bringing it all together:

• What themes are emerging from my reflections?

• What kind of person do I want to become in this next chapter?

• What will I intentionally let go of?

• What will I actively build or invite into my life?

• What small step can I take this week toward my new life?

Original music by Mart-Marie Snyman

Thumbnail image: Unsplash

Photograph of Lizanne de Jong: supplied